Are you a sneaky sea witch or shifty scallywag in training, banished to this for saken isle of the lost. Or have you simply washed up on our flight shore and don't know what to do with your sketchy self? In any case, it's high-tide time you learned a thing or two about this dismal rock i call home. Time to put your best tentacle forward and take over, and i'm about to show you how it's done. Enjoy the read - if you dare. And keep these things a secret. It's for the best.